


Let The Rain Wash Away, All The Pain From Yesterday

by orphan_account



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Anxiety, Anxious Peter Parker, Female Peter Parker, Gender or Sex Swap, Hurt Peter Parker, NOT STARKER - Freeform, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, Penelope Parker - Freeform, Penny Parker - Freeform, Peter Parker Has Anxiety, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker Whump, Peter Parker is a female, Peter is Penny, Peter is a female, Skip Westcott - Freeform, Somewhat graphic, Spidergirl - Freeform, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Trauma, please be careful when reading, spiderwoman - Freeform, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:15:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27252523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: If someone were to ask Penny what her deepest darkest secret was, her mind would instantly flit to SpiderGirl. Of course, she would never tell anyone of her alter ego, that would defeat the purpose of a secret identity after all. So she would instead shrug and say she didn’t have one.But that was a lie.Granted, most of the time she hadn’t even realized she was lying, for her true deepest darkest secret was something she buried too deep. Something she shoved down into the pits of her conscious in the hopes that it would never see the light of day again- in the hopes that she would forget and never remember. But Penny had a little thing she dubbed ‘Parker Luck’, and unfortunately, as per usual, her plan backfired. At least she knew that this time, she was not too blame. It wasn’t her fault.It wasn’t her fault.(Rated high T. TW’s in tags.)
Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 4
Kudos: 146





	Let The Rain Wash Away, All The Pain From Yesterday

**Author's Note:**

> Title is lyrics from the song ‘I’m Coming Home’. There are a bunch of covers, so it was difficult to track down the original artist(s), and even still I’m not sure if this is correct or not, but according to the internet, the song was composed by Thom Bell and Linda Creed. For all I know that could be a completely different song that they composed, so please correct me if I’m incorrect.
> 
> Normally I appreciate critique, but please don’t leave any on this fic. Thank you. I don’t actually know if this should be related M or high T, but I don’t want to take any chances. Please read the tags for warnings!!!

**Warning: Read the tags. The following contains content of sexual abuse/assault on a minor. This fic goes into minor detail.**

  
If someone were to ask Penny what her deepest darkest secret was, her mind would instantly flit to SpiderGirl. Of course, she would never tell anyone of her alter ego, that would defeat the purpose of a _secret identity_ after all. So she would instead shrug and say she didn’t have one.

But that was a lie.

Granted, most of the time she hadn’t even realized she was lying, for her true deepest darkest secret was something she buried too deep. Something she shoved down into the pits of her conscious in the hopes that it would never see the light of day again- in the hopes that she would forget and never remember. But Penny had a little thing she dubbed ‘Parker Luck’, and unfortunately, as per usual, her plan backfired. At least she knew that this time, she was not too blame. It wasn’t her fault.  
  


It wasn’t her fault.

Penny was your average run of the mill, happy go lucky child. Sure, she’d lost her parents, but she had her aunt and uncle now, both of whom promised to take care of her to the best of their capabilities. Of course, money was tight, especially with Penny being a recent addition about a year or so ago, and so both adults had to work in order to keep the family afloat. 

The preferred option would have been for one of them to have a stay at home job so they could have an eye on the young girl at all times, but unfortunately, no such job had been available, leading them to begin a search for a baby sitter for a 7 year old Penny. 

One afternoon, May had a run in with her neighbor and ended up offhandedly mentioning their predicament, and too May’s delight, their neighbor had said that her son could watch her no problem, free of charge. He was hired right then and there. Skip Westcott. A young, _responsible,_ boy who was only just a few years older than Penny. He seemed perfect. Too everyone but Penny that was.

Penny never liked him from the beginning. Sure, he was friendly, and sure he would give her candy and let her watch whatever movies she wanted, but she didn’t like him. Something about him bothered her. She wished she had listened to her head sooner.

Everything was fine for a while. Despite her initial dislike for him, he eventually began to grow on her. She eventually even considered him to be somewhat of a friend. She was wary, sure, she was a kid. A kid who was told to trust him. And so she let her guard down slowly and did begin to trust him. That ended up being a mistake of course.

”I’m headed off to work, Hun, I’ll be back around 3:00,” and with a warm smile, a pat on the head, and a kiss on the cheek, May had gone to work. It didn’t take long for things to change- for things to go wrong. Skip had led her to her aunt and uncles room, claiming he had something to show her. Her mind had screamed at her to stay put, to not go in there, to leave, but... she was supposed to trust him. So it was fine. Right?

It wasn’t fine.

The memories of that day are hazy. Penny can’t remember if it was rainy or clear, cloudy or sunny. She couldn’t pinpoint a date, or a time of the year. But none of that mattered. She still remembered what happened, even if the memories were clouded. She remembered cold hands in places they never should have been. She remembered him trying to convince her to touch him in areas she knew were wrong. And so she didn’t. Of course, that didn’t stop him from doing it to her though. She remembered feeling guilty and full of shame, so much so that she never dared utter a word of what happened. Not to a single soul. Logically, even as a child she knew it wasn’t her fault. It had been forced upon her against her will and she had always adamantly refused to reciprocate the action, and yet... she still felt embarrassed.

Maybe- maybe if she had just said something, anything at all- it wouldn’t have happened again. But it did. It happened even when she ran. It happened even when she kicked and screamed. It happened even when she shouted no over and over again.

It happened too many times to count.

She couldn’t remember when it started, nor when it stopped. It might’ve been weeks, or months, maybe even a year. But she didn’t know. Eventually, Skip gave up his efforts, and after a few months of awkward tension between the two kids, he went on to do other things. Penny never had another babysitter after that. She was old enough now to be home alone for a few hours, or so she had been told. Her brain, in a struggle to comprehend what had happened, pushed the memories away. And for the most part, it was successful.   
  


She forgot. Mostly. Every once in a while the memories would resurface, but she’d always manage to shove them back down, no problem. And that’s how she lived for a few years. Every time she remembered, she’d just forget again. Until- that didn’t work anymore. In the era of the internet, Penny had the world at her finger tips. She studied, learned, and lived.

She went to an amazing high school for young geniuses like herself, had two close friends, Ned, and MJ, and sure, she got bullied every once in a while, but hey, other than that, school was pretty good. On top of that, she had an amazing aunt, was SpiderGirl, the number 1 (and only) crime fighting Spider of Queens. To top it all off, she even got to hang out with THE Tony Stark in his lab, and it didn’t take long for him to become like a father to her. So yeah, things had been going pretty great.

Of course, there was the not so great things, like the overwhelming anxiety, the depression, the growing list of fears, and worst of all, the memories. See, it all began one day when she was scrolling through her social media and she stumbled upon a post talking about childhood trauma. She’d almost swiped past it, but... she was intrigued. It’s as they say: curiosity kills the spider! (Or cat, whatever). She hadn’t thought anything of it at first, but as time when on and she began to see more and more posts similar too it, the more the gears in her head began to turn.

Surely she was fine though. Wasn’t she?   
  


Eventually the memories resurfaced, and no matter how much she tried to tamp them down, they stuck. It was like they were always in the back of her mind, poking and prodding at her, whispering things she couldn’t ignore. And it left her frustrated. She hadn’t been affected as a child, (or so she thought) so why was it affecting her so much now? Perhaps because now she could see just how messed up it all is? Perhaps because she could see that maybe, maybe she hadn’t been completely unaffected.

She realized she was afraid. Always had been. Growing up, she rejected physical affection from anyone but her aunt and uncle. Even hugs from friends left her bothered for seemingly no reason. She was uncomfortable to be alone with anyone, specifically with men no matter their age, even if it was someone she trusted and knew wouldn’t try anything. She analyzed every person around her at all times when in public, and avoided those she deemed suspicious. She found it difficult to trust. She found relationships to be terrifying. She never ever wanted to be touched like that again, even if there was love behind the action rather than malice.

So she avoided those situations as much as possible. She didn’t think it’d be a problem. It was her way of telling herself that she would be ok- that this wouldn’t happen again. But even despite all the pain and the fear, Penny still couldn’t help but feel as though she was overreacting. It happened so long ago- maybe she imagined it all. Or maybe it hadn’t been that bad. Maybe she was just being over dramatic and she was fine and she had no reason to complain.

The constantly conflicting thoughts were too much to handle. She wasn’t sure if she was ready to talk about it all or not- but she needed a second opinion- needed someone to tell her that she isn’t crazy, that it’s not just in her head. But how was she supposed to talk about it without _really_ talking about it? It was truly an impossible task. She supposed she’d just have to wing it. This was something she had to get off her chest before the weight of it all sent her crashing to her knees.

And so she found herself sitting at a dining table and eating dinner with Mr. Stark and Mrs. Potts on a Friday afternoon. Despite the weekly visits, it still felt surreal at times. Normally she’d be left with a feeling of pure excitement and joy, but not today- no not today. Today the pit of her stomach flipped and flopped, a pain she knew all too well - anxiety - filling her chest.   
  


She knew she must seem off to the pair for her usual cheerful chatter was silent today, casting a deafening void to fill the room.   
  


“Everything alright Pen?”   
  


She internally winced. _Of course they would say something._ She took a deep shuddering breath in a sad attempt to calm her nerves. She had to do this. She had to say something. Today was the day. Besides, she trusted Mr. Stark. He would listen to her- believe her, right? She trusted him. She just had to hope that that trust wasn’t misplaced. “Yeah, I’m fine it’s just...” she looked down at her hands folded on her lap, unable to keep eye contact with anyone. “I- I have a question.”

Mr. Stark gave a small nod, one she could just barely see out of the corner of her eyes. “Of course, kid, go ahead.”

Another deep breath. “Do you ever just... ever just see something awful on like- the news, or on social media, and you’re like, ‘dang that sucks, but at least it didn’t happen to me’ but... but then you realize that it did. It- it did happen to you.. I mean.” Her hands were shaking now. She let them grip at her skirt hard enough to make her knuckles turn white. She felt like she was going to vomit, and she hadn’t even really said anything yet.

She steeled herself and forced herself to meet his eyes. His brows were furrowed together in confusion, lips drawn tight together. “I’m a bit confused kid. Do you have any examples?” Pepper was looking at her too now.

She swallowed hard. She could do this... she had too.

“Well... it’d- it’d be like if you saw something on the new saying ‘girl loses family in freak accident’, and you’re like, wow I feel really bad for them but at least I can be glad that didn’t happen to me, and then you realize that it did. Ya know?”

Mr. Stark’s frown deepened, as did Pepper’s. “Is that what’s got you all worked up kid?”

She shook her head. “No! Well, that did happen, kinda, but no, that’s... that’s not what I’m talking about...” Her voice was beginning to waver, a sign of her crumbling resolve. Mr. Stark knelt by her side, face full of confusion, worry, and a hint of determination. 

“Pen, kid. I can tell that whatever it is you’re trying to tell us is really important, and it’s upsetting you, but if you don’t explain what’s happening, we can’t help you.” He looked back at Pepper who nodded. Tears began to pool on Penny’s waterline, threatening you spill over at any second.   
  


“It hurts.”

It was barely a whisper, but it was just loud enough for him to hear of the panic slowly spreading across his face was any indication. “You’re hurt?” He repeated.She couldn’t do much more than nod. 

”Where are you hurt kiddo? Are you bleeding? Did you get injured on patrol? Do I need to call Helen?-“

”No!” She cried. “No- you don’t get it.” She was full on sobbing now. She swiped angrily at her tears and sniffled. “He hurt me,” she murmured.

He gently pulled her hands away from her face and wiped the tears away. “Who hurt you Pen?” His voice took on a bit of an angry edge, but she was fairly certain he wasn’t mad at her. “Was it on patrol? Is it someone at school? Someone here?”

She shook her head no. “It happened a long time ago Mr. Stark. He hurt me.”

Mr. Stark cupped her cheeks in his hands. “Look at me Pen.” So she did. “Who hurt you?”

She tried to even her breaths which had previously been coming out rough and shallow. “My old babysitter.”

Pepper places a steadying hand on her shoulder. “And what did he do Hun?” She asked in a soft and quiet voice.

”He touched me.”

The room went dead silent.

”He what?” That was Mr. Stark. He was definitely angry now, it was written all over his face.

”he-,” she broke off, voice cracking. “He touched me. I didn’t want it to happen, I promise Mr. Stark! I even said no, and- and I fought back but-,” sobs wracked her small body once more, effectively silencing her for a few seconds. “I’m sorry.”

He pulled her into a hug, rocking her back and forth. “It’s ok Pen. You did nothing wrong. Not one thing, ok? You’re ok, I’ve got you.”

He and Pepper continued to whisper words of comfort until she calmed down. They walked her over to the couch, handed her a glass of water and some blankets, and from there she told them the whole story. Or at least, what she remembered. Penny could tell that the two were trying to keep up a calm facade for her sake, but she could see the hints of pure rage and horror in their eyes once she was finished. Even still, they tossed those feelings aside and did their best to comfort her and make her see that she was ok and that she didn’t do anything wrong, something she was eternally grateful for.   
  


For the remainder of the day, they sat on the couch watching movies. It wasn’t long before Penny dozed off, Mr. Stark’s arms wrapped around her, and Pepper close by on her other side. She let herself smile for a bit. She knew it wasn’t over. She’d eventually have to tell May, and Mr. Stark would eventually send her to therapy where she’d have to retell it yet again, but for now at least she was happy to know that she was safe and that Mr. Stark always had her back.

Always.

—-

Tony looked down at the girl that was curled up into his side, asleep. What that creep had done made his blood boil, but he held it in. All for her. He would do anything to keep his kid safe. Anything. And with that thought in mind, he picked up his phone, and made a call to someone he hadn’t spoken to in ages.

”Hey Nat. It’s Tony. I need you to do me a favor.”

**Author's Note:**

> I know that this fic is far from perfect, and I’m sorry for that, but I’m really just writing this to get some feelings off my chest, so I’m not too interested in making this the best thing ever.
> 
> Stay safe guys.


End file.
